This sculpture holds a deep meaning for me and nearly brings me to tears. About three months ago, my twin sister and I were struggling immensely. We had fallen behind on our Instagram and TikTok art pages, failing to post our artwork daily and maintain the consistency we had in the past. We were living in Airbnbs, constantly stressed and uncertain about our future. On top of that, we were juggling college while our car was filled to the brim with all our belongings—along with a million other things that added to our stress. I was on the verge of tears every day, just wishing that February 24, 2025—the date we were supposed to move into our new house—would come sooner. We were exhausted from hopping from one Airbnb to another, and I almost tossed my sculpture aside out of frustration. Yet, it made me emotional to realize that I never gave up. The emotional aspect for me stems from proving to myself that I am stronger than I think. I managed to hold it together and stay the course, despite how dire our situation was. My hands were getting cut, cramped, and bruised, and my fingers bled from working with the steel, which compounded my distress. Coupled with the chaotic situation in my family life, working with the wire and steel was incredibly challenging, to the point where I nearly gave up.
At one moment, I almost threw my half-finished sculpture—still in its chicken mesh cylinder form—into the closet of the Airbnb. I considered abandoning it completely, but something stopped me. I believe that "something" was a higher power guiding me to finish it, regardless of the anger and stress I was feeling. All the factors in my life at that time were overwhelming: our family traveling by car, our transient lifestyle, and the pressure of showing up for college while still being homeless. My hands ached and bled, filled with pain, worry, anxiety, and paranoia, which tempted me to consider dropping out of college and discarding my sculpture.
The thought of walking away from everything was incredibly tempting. On our last day in the Airbnb, it rained heavily, which only added to our stress as our parents had to store many of our things. However, despite the chaos, my sister and I maintained our composure at school. We tried our best to keep everything under control, showing no signs of the immense distress we were feeling. We dressed well and managed to appear put together, even though no one had any idea what we were going through. We dressed like we weren't struggling every day even though we deeply were: we just didn't show any signs of it at all.
My sculpture gives me a bittersweet memory, it’s bittersweet to me and brings a smile to my face and tears to my eyes because it represents struggle to me but at the same time symbolically represents to me as a sign that I had OVERCAME that struggle, see, I can't let that sculpture go, it's bringing tears in my eyes now because I see the answer the truth and my potential in it. I see the sculpture in a new light! The sculpture was a sign from god to prove to myself that I'm a warrior, i’m heartfelt and deep and I'm stronger and more resilient than I think I am or ever thought I was. I proved to myself that under that time of stress of what I was enduring and had to live in and deal with, I became a true warrior goddess and that its a sign that I had overcome the struggle and now i’m on the happier, sunshine, a brighter side where the grass is greener grass. The sun is shining brighter and warmer on my skin than ever before!
The sculpture holds a special place in my heart; I have a deep love for it because it accompanied me during our travels while we were homeless with our mom and dad. It has been with us through thick and thin, even when we nearly gave up on it. The sculpture felt so real, almost like a living, energetic being. It seemed to sense that we no longer wanted it and that we were considering putting it in storage.
My heart melted, and I felt like crying when I thought about Toy Story. The scene where the little girl goes off to college hit me hard. Her childhood toy, which was actually real, felt forgotten now that she’s older. The toy, named Jessie, is sad as she reminisces about how the little girl used to love her.
This song and story connect to my sculpture. It was the song I associated with my sculpture, and from there, I imagined a scenario where my sculpture was alive right now. It traveled with us and appeared blurry or black and white. There was a little video capturing our sculpture's formation (showing us creating our sculptures) and then depicting us expressing frustration with it while it accompanied us on our travels. In the video, we seemed annoyed with it clinging to everything and being in our way! Wow, it's 3:33! However, as the sculpture became more complete in the making, the song “She Loved Me” from Toy Story played throughout this entire video story scenario.
See, I've created a connection with my sculpture and become emotionally bonded to it because of the hard times I went through while creating that structure. This makes me not want to throw it away at all. I just can't now. God knew how much we wanted to quit under all this pressure, but the sculpture eventually revealed to me that I am a black diamond. I got a spark when I typed this because sparks are light packets of truth radiating on the human body. Oh wow! I got another one, hehehe! As the sculpture grew and came together, the situation became even harder and much worse. I couldn't wait for it to be done and to stop sticking, ripping my clothes, and poking me.
What a wild ride this journey was with the sculpture though! I feel very proud of myself!
Yes, as much as I complained about our situation and chose to dress and present myself in public as if my twin sister and I weren’t experiencing struggles and hard times, I’ve come to realize that we really are like diamonds and black diamonds. Just as a warrior endures hardships, a beautiful gem like a black diamond emerges from intense pressure and challenges imposed by Mother Earth.
This shows that if a diamond can endure and grow through tough times, then so can I, because I am a beautiful black diamond in the rough!
Alt text: Nene is the second twin showcasing her wildly abundant colorful energetic sculpture that looks very swirly and dynamic with holographic chrome sheets and high saturated acrylic color paint in a rainbow order
#identicaleternalsuns #artschool #artist #sculpture
